Assurances
"Mom, I could easily get down from here."
Foreign Relations
"Vladimir Putin?! Pootin!!!!" Maniacal and hysterical laughter.
Arbitrations
"Well, my belly says it needs to ride bikes instead of bedtime."
On Vanities
"Jacob...that's what you put on your lips right mom?"
(Took me a minute to figure out...he meant 'make-up')
On Vanities
"Jacob...that's what you put on your lips right mom?"
(Took me a minute to figure out...he meant 'make-up')
On Extracurriculars
"Activities? Is that a kind of sickness?"
Hot tip. Do you need to talk on the phone with a geneticist from Harvard for more than an hour without giving her a hint at the madness that lies at the other end of her phone? Have your attempts to escape your mewling, wrestling children by going outside been thwarted by a baby who insists on eating grass? Were your vehement throat-slitting motions met with peals of laughter and delight and the contnuing press of small bodies against your legs?
Simply dump piles of chocolate chips and pretzel sticks into bowls and motion to your children that they can eat these delights as long they don't a) kill each other b) follow you and c) make any noise whatsoever. Sorry. You were probably expecting something better than that.
Hot tip. Do you need to talk on the phone with a geneticist from Harvard for more than an hour without giving her a hint at the madness that lies at the other end of her phone? Have your attempts to escape your mewling, wrestling children by going outside been thwarted by a baby who insists on eating grass? Were your vehement throat-slitting motions met with peals of laughter and delight and the contnuing press of small bodies against your legs?
Simply dump piles of chocolate chips and pretzel sticks into bowls and motion to your children that they can eat these delights as long they don't a) kill each other b) follow you and c) make any noise whatsoever. Sorry. You were probably expecting something better than that.
this sort of genius can't be taught |
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