Friday, March 2, 2012

7 Quick Takes: Possible Careers for Young Children

1. But first, watch this:
This is why we can't have a no-throwing-balls-in-the-house rule. Did you listen carefully? Did you? In the background you can hear my sister and I being driven out of our minds trying to bake cookies with the kids who are supposed to be playing with the dads peacefully and ungrudging-ly baking cookies with our small children while our menfolk play the all important Anthony Davis Dunkasaurus game. No bitterness was involved in the making of this video.

2. Ok. So. Young children would make *excellent* politicians. They can't look you in the eye and they can't seem to answer a question properly. There's also the propensity for getting randomly naked at the absolute worst time and their uncanny ability to say silly things that don't make sense. Plus the blaming. See?

3. Plumber. You  know it and I know it. The toilet fascinates them. I'd save a lot of money and time if after Dominic flushes something unfortunate down the potty, he has the skills to get it out again.

4. Replacement for torture. (Torture is wrong. From the Catechism, paragraph #2297 "Torture which uses physical or moral violence to extract confessions, punish the guilty, frighten opponents, or satisfy hatred is contrary to respect for the person and for human dignity." Aight.) But we need those confessions, and my kids can get them. First, we'll minimally sleep deprive the detainee by allowing the children to awaken him throughout the night with confusing needs like, "I need more water! Not that water! The animal water!" and then in the morning, send him to the kitchen to make breakfast for the little tyrants; "Is there peanuts in that peanut butter? I don't want any peanuts in my peanut butter!"

5. Demolition. Whatever you need demolished, act like you like it, and kids will destroy it. No problem.

6. Professional dis-organizers. It would catch on. I'm pretty sure.

7. Supermarket greeters. Who can resist a grin accompanied with a loudly and forcefully shouted, "HI!!!!" They might be crazy but they sure are cute.

Have a good weekend, I know we will....for more Quick Takes, you know what to do.


  1. And yet sleep deprivation is the first step of judicial torture!

  2. Ha Ha! Great post! I loved the demolition one. So true. Sigh.