Wednesday, December 5, 2012


I cannot help you not be late. I have not figured out the virtue of punctuality whilst caring for and toting about small children. But what I can give to you this Advent season are these:

Ambiguous, Legitimate-Sounding, And Technically Not-Lies, Reasons For Being Late

1) There was an environmental spill in the area (There was poop....everywhere.....the kind that needed a bath tub and soap and a whole new set of clothes for all involved.)

2) We were experiencing a slight scheduling conflict (Every single child was asleep and the house was blessedly silent and there was no way I was going to wreck that situation until the very last minute possible, even to be on time. Sorry....kinda.)

3) I was involved in an intense project and lost track of time (I was just going to have a quick little nursing sesh with the bebe before hopping in the car but I got side-tracked by her sweet milky smell and her round cheeks and pudgy wrist chub and her big, beautiful eyes gazing up at me and before I knew it, 20 minutes had gone by.)

4) We had some car trouble (No one would get in their car seat with out the power of some WWF-style wrestling moves.)

5. We had an impromptu therapy appointment go over-time (The almost three year old was losing his mind over some perceived slight and could not be induced to put on shoes or underwear and the tantrum needed a strong and nurturing mothering touch and small exorcism to reach a satisfying denouement that included shoes, undies, and getting in a motor vehicle.)

6. There was...a situation..... (All hell was breaking lose and I'm not even sure how we're all still alive and smiling and HERE. We're here, isn't that the important thing?)

And then there's always the act-confident-don't-offer-any-excuses technique whereby your confidence tricks the people waiting for you into thinking you weren't really late at all and that you meant to arrive at the time you arrived and it was all part of your well-executed plans. I'm still perfecting that one.

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