Monday, February 13, 2012

Valentime's Day

Sorry about the unofficial blogging vacay. The longer I was away, the more I felt pressure to write something extremely insightful/witty/profound/etc and so the more I put it off and then the more the pressure mounted. And now all I've got is a (bad) post about Valentime's Day.

You might be wondering if during my bloggy break I forgot how to proof-read but I promise I did not. Though Gianna *can* make a proper /n/ sound, when it's in a word, especially in the ending position, she tends to say /m/ instead. So "phone" becomes "foam" and "Valentine's" becomes "Valentime's." And though we should probably not encourage this, it's just really cute and now "foam" for "phone" is so much a part of our family lexicon that even Dominic thinks that is the right way to say it.

Anyways. I realized that Valentime's Day is tomorrow. And I thought to myself, "S***." Because that means I have to go through the whole show of getting cards for Gianna to give her classmates, and oversee the writing of names and decorating of stickers and counting and re-counting to be sure we have left no staff member/teacher/child behind. Which inevitably happens despite my efforts. Then there's the fact that it's not enough anymore to give a card, there has to be candy and small gift bags and puppies.

Part of me wants to eschew this custom created by the industrial-military complex (sorry. I listen to a lot of NPR and I really, really like it when people call in ranting and they use the phrase "industrial-military complex" like it means something) and buy the crappiest Valentimes possible. But my sweet 4 year old has not yet achieved the same level of forced un-coolness/feigned distaste for this national greeting card holiday. And let's be honest. I like Valentime's Day. I like to confiscate all the candy ("This is very bad for your body") and then consume it secretly myself. With each passing year this deception becomes harder and harder to execute...luckily, I have Dominic to dupe for a few years still.

So, what is a too-cool for Valentime's Day mama to do? How to show my worldliness while also not looking like the lame parent who just plain forgot to do anything? I shall do what comes most naturally, and that is to take the path of least work for me. I buy a stack of cards. A couple packs of stickers. I give Gianna the list of names and a pen and let 'er rip. As long as the amount of cards is the same as the amount of people needing cards at the end, I don't care what they look like. They let the kids deliver the cards anyways, so I figure Gianna will remember that she really wanted to Claire to have the robot-wearing-a-tutu-card, and just handle it. This lazy approach allows me to maintain my laid-back parent image (see? I am letting her find her own way/take this as a self-directed learning experience/hovering? no sir not me) while still projecting the image of a conscientious parent who cares about school functions and the psyche of their small daughter whose current, most ardent desire in life is to pass out princess Valentime's cards.

I know you are all amazed at the depth of my thoughts. Stick with me, I'll show you how it's done.


  1. i thought that since we were home schooling this year, I would turn the whole making Valentines thing into a whole day. Writing and spelling: filling out cards. Art: making home made cards. Math: counting cards and making sure we have enough. Yeah, NO. I was up all night puking so today I handed them the boxes of cards the hubs drove around last night finding, and handed them stamps, markers, and stickers. Go me.

  2. Love it! I went the "Toy Story and a Sucker" Valentine route. It was all prepackaged. I will most definitely earn mother of the year. Especially since my son came home with all these elaborate, Pinterest inspired Valentines!

  3. lol yeah one mom bought pears and put them inside those cello bags and wrapped them with ribbon. SO cute. SO healthy. Wish I'd thought of it....sort of......mostly I am just perusing Gianna's swag for any delicious candy....don't tell my midwife