Bacon v. The Plumber

Alls we have to eat right now is left-over chili that we've already had about 3 meals in a row. And it's Monday (duh) which means I should be girding my loins for a trip to the grocery store. Which means I ought be using this precious peace and quiet nap time to draw up a meal plan and make my grocery list. But I am not.

I'm not not doing my grocery list because I am lazy. It's really loud in here with the plumber, and I can't unload the dishwasher because the plumber is blocking it.  He is currently engaged in a epic battle with my kitchen sink and I hate to bother him too much. The poor man has been here close to two hours. He says there is GREASE clogging up my pipes. "Grease???" I tittered nervously....."Oh. We do sort of like bacon. A bit. But I try to put the grease in this little jar here....and not down the sink...usually.."

And now, the plumber has left me. It's very awkward, bidding adieu to a defeated plumber who promises to call you soon, that he will need to get reinforcements. The cheerful, prompt journeyman who declared, "I'm sure I've seen worse" was replaced increasingly with a sweaty brow and vacant eyes.

Now I've got all these dirty dishes which I think I can clean in the sink, but only the one side, and run the water on the other except that's now how I usually do my dishes, and he told me to let the hot water run, but he didn't say how long. And he hasn't called me back...why hasn't he called me back??? Was it something I said? And I'm all stressed about this grease.....can I rinse my bacon-y fingers in the sink after I've shredded some bacon for my salad? We just really like bacon, I'm sorry. But we do.

bacon levels are reaching critical lows....get thee to the store immediately

Oh, happy day. The man of the hour says he will try to locate a hydro-jet (what is?) and send it here to liberate my bacon-clogged pipes. After which I should retrieve my elder child from her posh preschool and then make haste the grocery store, where I still don't have a meal plan nor a list of what to buy, except that I will definitely, probably get more bacon.