Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Stupid Ways to Multitask

Busy moms need to master the skill of accomplishing many things at once in order to increase punctuality, perfect parenting, meal planning, and yeah. We won't be talking about any of that today. I know you're shocked, but this isn't really that kind of blog. This is real life. But not to worry. I have something even better than actual ways to multitask: Stupid ways to multitask, but still make it look like you are multitasking. Shall we?

Getting dressed and eating breakfast simultaneously. The chances for catastrophic spills are high, and it's really not any faster. It's probably slower. But, it tricks the hubs into thinking you are really putting in an effort to get out the door on time. You aren't just sitting around on your duff eating, you are getting. dressed.

Talking on the phone and trying to check your email. The combination of sounding like a space cadet and less-than-prolific emails will result in the loss of friendships, respect...and lots of other things.

Reading a book while cooking....pretty much anything. Tell me, what is the reason I feel I need to read and cook at the same time? What is this actually accomplishing? Nothing.at.all. Except burned food.

While we are talking about trying to read and do other things productive, reading and laundry folding does not work. I love to read but I think folding laundry is borrrrrrrring, so I try, time and again, to spice things up. Holding a book severely hinders my folding abilities, which are already poor.

And my most favorite, stupid, way to multitask: The brush teeth and walk around like I am accomplishing other things. But I'm not. Because one hand is brushing my teeth and I am furiously trying to avoid sloshing tooth paste drool everywhere but wow. It just seems so incredibly efficient and multitask-y.

I am so good at fake multitasking that I was multitasking even as I was writing this post. I was eating ice cream.


  1. I've found the homeschooling means I can multitask ANYTHING. Cooking and history class? No problem. Bedtime stories and religion lessons? Covered. Shoot, even going to the grocery store can be paired up with a lesson in home ec., nutrition, life cycle of plants, economics, etc. etc.
    That must explain why I'm so exhausted at the end of grocery day.

  2. Cari I think homeschooling+life sounds like LEGIT multitasking! Not the fake stuff I do lol The only legit multitasking I can claim is gestating+everything else I'm supposed to be doing :)